I 'member one time me'n Ol' Tubby Joe Stottlemeyer caught ourselves a ride into Dumas to go to the picture show. He figgered they'd be some girls there and maybe we'd get to set beside'em.
He wuzn't wrong. It wuz a bunch of'em standin' 'round outside the place waitin' for the doors to open up. We kinda hung around 'til 'bout half of'em went in, then we went in too. Shore 'nuff, it wuz two of'em settin' up purty close to the front all by their ownselves. Tubb made a beeline for'em and set hisself down on one side'n I set down on the other'n.
Well, it didn't take long 'fore them girls figgered out that they wuzn't goin' to set there and listen to Tubby Joe talk through the whole picture show so they got up and went some place else to set. By that time some of them Ol' Scatters boys had done took up the rest of
the girls. Shoot, it wuzn't nuthin' left to do but move on over to the seat next to Tubb and watch the show without no girl to set by.
Folks, just hang on a little while 'cause it's goin' to get to the interestin' part here in just a minute. While me'n Tubb wuz gone to get us some popcorn, the Widder's Stokes and Ledbetter had done snuck theirselves in and set down right behind where me'n Tubb wuz settin'. Now, this didn't make Ol’ Tubb all that happy 'cause the Widder Ledbetter wuz always tellin' his Mama on'im ever time he done sumpin' wrong. You can see why he wouldn't be all that happy 'cause it's hard on some ol' boy to set for over a hour and not do sumpin' wrong. While he wuz worryin' 'bout that, I had done picked up a problem of my own.
You see, I had done'n eat more Great Northern beans than a feller ought'a have 'fore I come to town. If'ye know anythin' 'bout Great Northern beans, you know what I'm talkin' 'bout. Well, I kept settin' there, and them beans kept workin'. Lordy have mercy. . . them beans wuz workin'.
I'd set on one cheek a while'n then I'd set on the other'n. It got to where that wuzn't helpin' no whole lot so I had to try squeechin'. Squeechin' helped for a few minutes, then I had to do squeechin' and cheek settin' at the same time. I wuz afraid to get up and leave. It ain't no tellin' what would'a happened if I'd done that.
It finally happened. I must'a swapped cheeks at only 'bout a half squeech. Folks, it wuz one'a them ooze outs. Now, them ooze outs don't make all that much racket, but it ain't no doubt about'em bein' there. I reckon everbody in that movie house knowed it wuz one of'em loose in there, and that included the projectionist who wuz way up at the top and in the back of the place. Shoot, he wuz even settin' in a room behind a glass window.
Well, I acted like it wuzn't nuthin' goin' on, Tubb looked around at the Widder Stokes, Miz Ledbetter wuz fannin' herself, and a whole bunch'a people settin' four rows back got up and left. By this time I wuz beginnin' to start squeechin' again so I got up and left. Ol' Tubb didn't want to set there by hisself so he got up and left. It wuzn't long 'fore everbody wuz standin' outside 'cept the Widders Stokes and Ledbetter.
"Who you reckon done that," Ol' Tubb asked.
"Shoot, I don't know, but it wuz a good'un."
It wuz a couple'a weeks later we run up on the Widder Ledbetter in front'a the store there in Watson.
"Mornin' Miz Ledbetter," Ol' Tubb said cheerfully. "How'd you enjoy the picture show?"
Her pore ol’ face turned redder'n poke berry juice'n she didn't say nuthin'. She just walked off as fast as she knowed how to.
"Do you reckon?"
"It could be Tubb . . . it could be."
